February Newsletter 2011

Heathy Spicy Life Newsletter

Yummy  pomegranates, revolved triangle yoga pose, interview with Chrissy Carter. That's her rockin' a handstand!

Tweaking Seane Corn

Seane Corn et moi

The Universe has been responding to me lately. I've been working on a few things as usual, and one of them is a pitch for a TV show. I included Seane's organization Off The Mat Into The World in the pitch as reference to the type of organization I would like the show to get involved with. I had never really met Seane before. I've taken a class or two with her oh, 10 to 15 years ago, long before she was was the rock star teacher and yoga representative that she is today.The Universe apparently wanted me to connect with her. Thank you, Universe.

My friend Kate that I did a yoga teacher training with, sent me an email last Friday asking if I was available to be the eyes on Seane Corn for a photo shoot so that the poses are picture perfect. I was flattered, honored, and cleared my schedule. Of course I could and would love to! How wonderful to get to meet Seane one-on-one, and my job was to adjust this knee or that hand with verbal cues much like teaching. Let me say that Seane is picture perfect without my help, but having posed for asana photos myself, I look at them and say if only I'd had a tweaker to adjust this one little thing. I asked Seane if she requested a professional set of eyes on her or if it was Whole Living Magazine's idea. She said she always has someone fine tuning, though let me tell you she knows her body well in these poses as one would suspect. If not for the still life of a photo print, I wouldn't of had to say a word.

I've been on sets many times as talent when I worked on commercials and I've dreamed of being on the cover of any magazine representing yoga. In my 18 years of practice, this is the closest I've come so far. Seane is as beautiful and gracious in person as one would imagine a yogini of her stature to be. I think that I was more floored by her asanas than the crew was. Until you actually try a downward facing dog you have no idea the work that you are asking of your body and breath. Put in a room full of advanced yoga practitioners, I am always in awe. The asana practice is just so beautiful to watch.

After we wrapped,  I went home and unrolled my mat. Sean's presence inspired me and revved up my love for yoga, all of yoga. There is so much to learn on the mat that transitions to life off the mat. That's what yoga is about, honoring the divine in self and others.

Adrien Brody Was My Valentine

reminders on how to cope with 

the big-red-heart-shaped-box-full-of-chocolates day 

and any day

Soften your heart to what is ... 

My best friend of 20 years shares her birthday with that of Saint Valentine. Her birthday had always been a point of contention. Friends would have plans with their Valentines and sometimes men wouldn’t want to take her out for her birthday because it was Valentine’s Day. Before writing this, I asked her how she feels about her birthday now. Her response was, “Neutral - it is my birthday and I am full of love.” This was really nice to hear. In finding the middle path or what I sometimes like to call the Baby Bear in the Three Little Bears – not too soft, not too hard, just right – she was able to let go of the anxiety over her birthday. 

Admittedly, I am a bit freakish over remembering dates and occasions. Not in a Marilu Henner kind of way with superior autobiographical memory, but above average. Of course there’s my story, your story, and then what really happened, but for this tale, we are going with my story since I am doing the writing. 

Valentine’s Day can be yet another dreaded calendar holiday or not. Pressure to buy a token of admiration for someone can be daunting. What if I’m dating someone that I don’t feel “that way” about, do I get him a gift? What if he gets me something? How you want to deal with Valentine’s Day is all perspective just like any other holiday that the masses celebrate. I used to poo-poo Valentine’s Day as a Hallmark holiday, but it turns out that Esther Howland created the first commercial Valentine’s Day cards in 1840. Huh, so it wasn’t Hallmark after all. Maybe I could soften my perspective and be neutral to February 14^th like my BFF had become. 

 Show gratitude and give hugs, smiles 

or those little candy hearts …

 In 1994 I actually had a Valentine and I remember for a few of reasons:

1) Because Adrien Brody was my Valentine.

2) BFF was visiting Los Angeles where I lived at the time. She had a layover while travelling from Australia to NYC.

3) I moved to LA in Nov ’93 and met Adrien within weeks of settling in. He was my roommate’s friend and always crashed at our house. Some girls have all the luck and sometimes they do literally just knock on your door.

Adrien arrived at my house with a bottle of Pinot Noir and a Valentine’s Day card (he commented when he handed the wine to me that he knew I liked Pinot Noir and he was right). How thoughtful. I gave him a star shaped candle embedded with secret little charms. There was no pressure or awkwardness. Just good old fashioned fun Valentine swapping.

One doesn’t need to present a gift on Valentine’s Day or dread the day. February 14^th was chosen as a day to show your love to special people in your life. I am hopeful that all who read this have at least one special person in their life, and if not make that special person yourself. You can smile randomly to people you pass, and do your best to hug someone, too. Bear hugs are great!

 Be cool even when others push your buttons ...

 We were off to a very good Valentine’s Day celebration. A mutual friend of BFF and mine wanted to take us ladies out and his friend for dinner to celebrate the birthday. Seeing as I had a date, Adrien, I informed the friend that I already had plans and the friend said to bring along whomever I wanted. I invited both Adrien and my roommate because we had all spent the day together, and were having a good time. Six of us met up for what intended to be a festive dinner. I’d rather not relive the gory details of the evening, but let’s just say there was drama and lots of it. The mutual friend had a mean streak of jealousy, got drunk, acted out, and left in a huff. It’s probably a good thing because my Valentine and roommate wanted to set him straight, but they took the high road instead by letting him leave with out further incident.

Special days can evoke drama as we all know, especially when there are red roses and red, heart shaped, boxes filled with chocolates involved. Recognizing all that you have albeit love from a partner, friend or family, is still LOVE. I think my BFF discovered some peace of mind when she surrendered to what is … her birthday is on the same day as St. Valentine. This is something she cannot change so there’s no point in fretting and wishing it to be otherwise. You can relate this philosophy to so many other “problems” we create for ourselves. If you really have a look at your “problem” chances are you are the one who gave yourself the “problem” to begin with. If you slow down enough to see this for yourself (via mind body practices) or slow down enough so that hopefully a really great friend (who does mind body practices) can help you see that you pretty much are the solution to your problems, then your will world shift.

        If nothing else live for love …

Pardon me, but my yogini is showing. Connect with the love and light in you that is just pleading to be let loose. Like dancing when no one is watching or singing at the top of your lungs out of key and all. You feel good. You laugh and shine. Suddenly you are a Valentine.

In December I read Jesus, I Love Jews By Angela Raines. I really liked her article and for those of you who read it you may recall that Mr. Brody was listed as the “Bad News Jew” for not being associated with any known eco causes and for having owned a hummer. I wish I could shed some insider light on this, but it was many, many, oh so many year ago that we frolicked. When I knew him, he drove a brown classic Caddie. Maybe not so good with gas, but does that count as vintage and recycling? I know I am grasping at straws and Raines really wanted to give him props, but couldn’t find the support. Adrien was very young when we were hanging out and reflecting on my own journey into having some sort of relationship with the universe, I think I had only one yoga mat at the time and it stayed in my closet mostly. I certainly have grown leaps and bounds in the past 17 years chances are he has, too. Let’s keep our eyes peeled to see if Adrien gets some green/eco causes on his bamboo plate. He is a good egg. 

         Take it to heart … metta meditation practice

         Metta also known as maitri, translates to “loving kindness”.  Why not try a 10 minute heart opening practice for Valentine’s Day?

 Here’s how: 

1)  Carve out 10 minutes of your day where you can sit and be still. You may sit on a chair with your feet flat on the floor, spine upright or sit on cushions on the floor if you are able to support your spine and its natural curves. The photo at the top of the red heart is my meditation cushion. You may want to record these instructions to listen to as you are settling into your “seat”.

2)  I suggest the app Zen Timer. It has numerous gong sounds, settling in time, journal option, and if you like intermittent gongs during your sit you can program that option.

3)  Once sitting, start your timer and use the delay bell setting. Rest the hands on the thighs. Mentally scan your body and feel its presence. Where your legs are. How your seat feels. Shoulders relaxed. Skin on the forehead without expression. Space between the top jaw and bottom jaw. You are coming into the present moment.

4)  Any time during your sit, if it feels natural, you may bring a hand to your heart. We feel emotions in our solar plexus where the heart beats, and also in our belly, or gut instinct. They reside very close to each other in our bodies.

5)  I use these four thoughts for metta medition:

May I be happy   

May I be healthy

May I be safe

May I live with ease 

Focus the mind on the first thought, “May I be happy” for a couple of minutes. Then let that thought go and focus on the second thought, etc. The time will go way faster that you ever imagined. If you can set aside more than 10 minutes, the next step is after you have wished loving kindness for yourself, choose a loved one to wish metta thoughts to. Eg: May you (fill in the name) be happy, may you be healthy, etc.

Thoughts other than what you are focusing on will arise. When this happens, and it will, as you notice the thought label it thinking and let it go. Gently take your mind back to the phrase you were focusing on. Please be light with the mind voice and kind to your self. Flogging is not part of the practice.

6)  When the gong chimes, you may like to acknowledge your practice by bringing the hands together at the heart and bowing.

7)  That’s it!

If you are interesting in learning more about meditation, I suggest finding a teacher or a mentor. The Interdependence Project based in NYC, has chapters throughout the country and pod casts accessible to all! 

Namaste.

Heart Broken Open

Smiling with tears

Swimming without fear

Laughing in the morning blizzard

Electric love

First cries

Last sighs

A kiss that takes your breath away

Feel another’s heart beating

Touch the sunlight on a freckle

Hands clawing like the flicker of a flame

Every pore opens

Prolong desire

Everything ends

Stay open

The ride is not black and white

There is much to learn in the grey

When a heart is broken open

Love is devotion

Selfless affection

Om namah shivaya

         

Namaste

Get Your Juices Flowing

I’ve taken to seasonal juice fasts. They seem to fall in step with paying quarterly taxes and checking in with my sex life. I can now cross “Fall ’10 cleanse”, “Third quarter ‘10 tax payment”, and gratefully, “October good lovin’”, off my fictional list. Yes, I am disciplined with my life in many aspects; what I eat, what I drink, the people I spend time with, my yoga practice, my meditation practice, working with clients, working out, leisure time, pleasure time and paying attention to my desires.

Juice fasting has been a part of my health regime for 12 years. My first attempt at consuming only juice for what I hoped to be a 5 day fast lasted only 3 days and was a nightmare. I didn’t follow a program about prepping or breaking a fast. Basically, I borrowed my friend Josh’s juicer, bought a whole bunch of organic veggies and fruits and started juicing calling it “Day 1” of my juice fast. What I learned the most about my virgin juicing experience is this … DO NOT GO TO THE MOVIES AND EAT POPCORN WHEN YOU HAVE NOT EATEN FOOD FOR THREE DAYS.

The overwhelming smell of buttered popcorn got the best of me and I rationalized with my friend, Rich, who suggested going to the movies, that popcorn was a vegetable and if I chewed it well it would liquidize in my mouth and essentially be corn juice. And of course, butter was already liquid, so that wouldn’t be an issue. I plowed through my small bag of popcorn watching Scream without incident. The movie was great as we all know, but basically I Roto-Routered my stomach leaving me with my own horror movie to contend with later that night.

I had read to take it easy during a juice fast; light yoga, go for walks, read books, no TV (so you don’t see food commercials which at the time I had two running nationally and always like to see my paycheck when it aired). Going to a movie didn’t seem like a bad idea, it’s not a restaurant with tempting food. I’d forgotten about the popcorn. Popcorn is not food in my book, but the aroma of fresh popped corn goes hand in hand with a movie. Being my first juice fast, and proud that I had lasted 3 days, I said enough is enough and broke my fast.

If shooting pains in my stomach, fever and sweating profusely are any indication that I had screwed up, then duly noted. I poisoned myself with popcorn. This was a huge lesson to me and I warn those who are doing a juice fast for the first time or are seasoned fasters, ease your way in and out of the fast. There is so much accessible information out there now on juicing and fasting and how to do it properly, I suggest reading as much as you can before taking your first juicing journey. I suggest a couple of days before juicing, eat vegan or raw, and DON'T eat a huge meal the night before as a “last meal”. Ease your way back into food when you are ready to eat solid foods again. Start with vegetable soup like a vegan butternut squash soup or a vegetable soup. Eating fruit on its own is good too. I love to have a chia seed pudding to break a fast with. Yum!!! Raw foods are great, but chew, chew, chew your food well and small amounts at a time. Go easy on spices. In fact, I avoid spices for a couple of days other than pinches of sea salt. Take your time and you will be fine. When breaking a fast over ten days, a good rule of thumb is that the break-in period should be extended one day for every 4 days of fasting. If you do intend to do a juice fast or any fast for that matter, please seek advice and guidance so that you don’t do more damage than good.

Thankfully I have come a long way from that first botched juice fast. I just completed a 5 day cleanse - 3 days of juice fasting followed by 2 days of juicing until dinner - dinner being raw salads from one of my favorite NYC raw food spots, One Lucky Duck. I personally like to include almond milks during my juice fasts for the fats and I also have lots of coconut water/coconut meat smoothies. Because I am a seasoned juice faster, I choose my own combinations of bottled greens, fruits, and nut milks. I don’t fast for weight management. I fast for cleansing, detoxing, boosting my immune system, and it just feels great! My self-prescribed selection of liquid goodness from One Lucky Duck included the bottled Norwalk pressed juices and fresh raw almond milk (TO DIE FOR). To save money (juice fasts are expensive) I buy Tai young coconuts and blend my concoctions at home by adding in different combinations of the following: cacoa, cacoa nibs, ginger, vanilla powder, mint leaf, blueberries, flax seed, chia seed, etc. basically whatever I am in the mood for. I drink lots of water, too.

Carving out the time for a juice fast can be tricky. I wouldn’t plan any lunches or dinners. Permit yourself to take it easy. Your body will be living off fewer calories so do less. Try some restorative yoga or go for a walk instead of a run. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself feeling light and sexy. Healthy is sexy after all.

Sad Joy

The sun has found new angles to stream into my bedroom. This means a new season is on its way. I live in a ground floor apartment which is located in the back of the building with windows that view a quiet courtyard. As fall approaches the sun is lower in the sky and the sun’s rays have a chance to poke through the two narrow slots on either side of the building across from the courtyard. I never do get a whole lot of sunlight in my apartment, but as the cold weather approaches the light gets less and less. When it does find its way into my bedroom, I know that my room was graced with warmth and life even when I am not there. There is something sad and joyful in the change of season. We let go of hot sticky nights, warm toes in the sand, cold watermelon dripping down our chins. We welcome layering sweaters, steamy bowls of soup, red noses from running outside in the foliage.

I spent the last week of August in Red Feather Lakes, CO about 2 hours northwest of Denver attending a meditation retreat with Acharyas Pema Chodron, Gaylon Ferguson, and Adam Lobel. When I arrived it was as hot as summer could get and by the last day, September 1, the temperature was in the low 60s. As we said our goodbyes to each other that fresh sunny morning, there was a palpable sad joy in us.

Ani Pema Chodron

Ani Pema Chodron spoke about sad joy. She explained that joy comes after sadness. We need to go through the sad part gently, awake, and present which then allows the heart to break open. From the open heart the joy flows out. This is how we cultivate a tender heart. She reminded us that if we skip this process, joy is brittle and full of fear.

When we soften our attitude or position we cultivate a tender heart. We become less fixed on having things turn out our way and begin to open to uncertainty. It’s this softness that gives us courage and strength, not tights fists and absolutes. Sad joy is goodbyes and hellos, winning and losing, deaths and births. This is the beauty of being alive, laughing until you cry or crying until you laugh.

We become open to the tender heart through the process of meditation, sitting quietly and still, observing the breath, training the mind. It’s no picnic or day at the beach, but the benefits are beyond words. Two weeks after my return, I am feeling the bliss from this concentrated and disciplined time I spent on my cushion. I kept waiting to write about my experience until it felt organic. I feel different. Many years of 20 minutes here, 30 minutes there on my cushion has added up like money in the bank of freedom. Not monetary freedom, but freedom from a cluttered confused mind allowing for space and clarity. I know that I can’t hold onto to this state of being as this is fluid, too. There is sad joy in everything.

Time Out From Me?

I found myself saying I need to take a time out from being Kim Stetz. Brief as the time out was, I wasn’t really sure what to expect when I came up with the idea. What would I do for “x” amount of time not being me? I like me just sometimes I think I am a bit much even for … me. Last week a new comer in my life told me that I am “intense”. He said he wasn’t quite sure in what way, but intense nonetheless. I took it as a compliment. I spend most of my time, day in and day out, helping others by teaching yoga and health coaching. When I am not doing that, I am working on myself so that I have the strength, courage, and insight to help others. After all, we are all here to serve.

This brief time out I was seeking, I equated to the space after meditation when the bell chimes and you let go of the mantra or the technique, and sit for a few moments without purpose or intention. That space. That was the time out from me that I desired. I wanted to part from myself, briefly and not too far away, kind of like if I was a daemon in The Golden Compass. Daemons are part of the soul in this Sci-Fi tale. The daemon co-exists with the human and is forever changing until the human reaches puberty. The daemon then fixes on a particular animal, which best reflects the personality of the adult human. The human cannot live without the daemon and vice versa. I haven’t figured out what my daemon would be if I were in this Sci-Fi tale, but I love the idea of having some kind of creature as our other half of our soul.

I wanted to be this fictional daemon and push the boundaries to see how far away I could get from myself without hurting. Trying to escape one self doesn’t work especially if you’ve read The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chodron, oh, probably 100 times. What could I do for ten minutes that didn’t have a purpose or meaning? Surely there are plenty of things to do; after all, it’s just me that I was looking to take a time out from. I am not the President for God’s sake.

Dancing around my apartment with the music quite loud seems to loosen the vice grip on my brain. Dancing makes me laugh and lighten up. Of course, this is not an escape from me, it is me, dancing, laughing and having a great time. I tapped into the lighter version of me, but nonetheless still me. My fictional daemon was having a great time, too. She couldn’t escape me either.