Winter Newsletter 2014

HSL Winter Newsletter 2014

What's inside: Comedy is Suffering, Compassion Training Weekend at IDP, a holistic approach to itchy, raw eczema

Comedy is Suffering

Putting my head in the mouth of a dragon is how I embraced my 45th birthday this past September. I am that kind of woman. This particular "dragon" takes the form of speaking in front of a group of people and/or performing. I know I am not alone in this fear as giving speeches and performing are terrifying for many. I don't think of myself as riddled with fears, in fact, I consider myself an adventurous brave soul. However, I know I have fears and when I look the other way rather than at them, they only grow in potency. In avoiding this perceived fear, I had been avoiding parts of myself. Those parts of myself can only be discovered by going in. What better way to slay my dragon aka "have fun" through suffering and laughter?  Improv 101 at Upright Citizens Brigade in NYC.

I'm hard pressed to think of a "comedy" film where our hero character or characters aren't constantly running into obstacles mostly created by their actions or perceptions and we the audience, the viewer, watch and laugh at how silly and obvious it all is or sometimes isn't so obvious. Groudhog Day starring Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell, and Chris Elliott is without a doubt one of my favorite comedies illustrating just how many times it can take to start to wake up to our own crap, our own cycle of suffering. When we don't get what we want, we suffer. Then what? Do we act like a baby and make the people around us miserable, too, like Bill Murray's character? Of course what is funny to the viewer is that the more miserable the character is, the funnier we think he is. In the movies, comedy is suffering and we can relate. Opening up to the lighter moments in life during the darkest moments is an option. This doesn't mean we bypass the sadness, skip over it, suppress it or pretend it doesn't exist. That's the work we can practice on a day to day basis when we slow down enough to look at where our thoughts come from and how we feel.

Every person out there, yeah, you, too, are unique, creative and funny. Your ability to access this part of you, is up to you. 

My experience is that I need to allow myself to feel sadness, let it wash over me and through me. Joy follows sadness and sometimes sadness follows joy. I heard Louis C. K. say that joy is like the antibody for sadness. When sadness is allowed in and felt, the joy is released, too, and they find each other. Antioxidants work in a similar way - they attach to free radicals neutralizing the toxins and then they leave our system. Too many toxins, not enough antioxidants and we have disease. Undigested emotions can come back and bite you when you least expect it. I work with my sadness on a daily basis through meditation and training my mind. The only way in is through. It takes courage to face those heart pounding physically charged emotions of sadness and underneath the sadness sometimes there's some anger lurking around. I've come to understand these feelings as undigested emotions that need looking at. So I sit with it. Welcome the feelings though well aware I'm not about to have a "good time" and feel all warm and cozy inside. Meditation is not a blissful walk in the park; commercialization of the practice has us believing this is meditation. I've been practicing for some years now and have instruction as to how to work with strong emotions. Meditation practice, dharma teachings and psychotherapy have helped me leaps and bounds in discovering my ... sanity dare I say? My mind's "go to" in mediation used to be flooding with sadness or numbing out. Now that I'm more familiar with how I experience these emotions, I have techniques for working with them gently during meditation practice and they have less of a hold on me. This doesn't mean I don't get sad anymore during mediation. I still do, but now I understand it in my body, allow it to be there and soften to the experience. Practicing compassion towards myself, feeling my own pain gently, I have not found to be easy. I'm a human being and a work in progress.

The Sloppy Tim's - Improv 101 Student Class Show

The ability to laugh at myself, is the biggest relief of all. I meditate so that I can understand or at least begin to understand the projections of my mind, my thoughts, and relate to them with some clarity and sanity. This in turn gives me confidence and presence when relating to others and the potential to see what is happening in the moment for what is happening in the moment. To relate to others as human beings with their own stuff going on and navigate how I feel in situations that are awkward, unknown and uncomfortable seems to me is getting into the belly of life and when I feel most alive. Feeling emotions is being alive. This doesn't mean we have to act out on our emotions and be reactive to the anger by screaming or hitting someone or flooding with tears when we loose our favorite hat. When an "ah ha" moment emerges in real time, in real life, we smile at our own little mastery of getting it. The connection to another person along with the validation of self, being understood and understanding right there in the flow of life, the unpredictable moments that have potential for pure chaos but yet somehow we navigate the moment and are able to make sense of it in that moment with another is amazing. Improv classes are ripe with opportunity to discover these connected moments as well as discover when one is blocked and not in the flow.

We learned scene work basic techniques throughout the eight weeks of class. These basic rules help the performer "find the game" in the scene. We are told not to make jokes, just play the game. That's what's fun in life, too, playing and getting along with others and laughter flows. When we try and control situations leaving little room for others ideas, we hit a wall, conversation gets tense, and basically we kill a scene. The party is over.

I love that "don't kill your scene partner" is listed as a "helpful hint" in learning improv technique.

Of course it's improv killing, with some kind of improv object, but if you kill your scene partner for whatever reason, say you don't like how the scene is going so you kill them, this isn't a good way to go about working in class and you don't want that spilling over out into the real world.

Our warm ups before scene work were the best! There were no mistakes to make! If you blundered in the game, most of them were tongue twisters, and speed reactions, everyone cheered. Yay, I goofed up! What a different mind set from our constant bombardment of having to get it right. I really needed this reminder as well as I had to keep reminding myself this class was purely for me and for fun - not a teacher training, or being graded, or to have a financial return in my investment.

Improv 201 I'm in. That dragon isn't quite a scary as she used to be and I didn't need to kill her after all. Thank you Laura Grey and fellow Tuesday morning devoted improvsters for showing up.

The "Final Rule" from the one handout we were given: You can break all of the preceding rules, however, most of the time you'll be better off if you don't. Improv rules tend to be life rules. They exist to make our work look more like life. ~  Ian Roberts

Itchy, Raw, Eczema! There is a holistic solution.

Eczema that looked like a flesh eating disease is what brought me to my knees over ten years ago in wanting to figure out how such a healthy living yogini could have skin covered in open raw wounds. I went to see all of “them”: two conventional dermatologists, a long standing herbalist Angelica of Angelica Herb, acupuncturist, and a consultation with Pratima Raichur, an Ayurvedic doctor. All confirmed I had the full range of eczema: the wet ones that look like little blisters on the hands and feet, the scaly bordering psoriasis type mostly on my legs and then straight up clusters of itchy red bumps on my arms. The scenario wasn’t pretty. Eczema and allergies run in my family and I seemed to have dodged all of the allergies until my mid 30s when eczema came along. I question (dis)eases that “run in the family” what is it exactly that we are inheriting?

I came to understand my eczema as an external physical manifestation of my internal raw, itchy, wounded, firey self. The internal seemingly endless chatter about the future, the what ifs, unchecked feelings swept under the proverbial rug already densely populated with self doubt and worthlessness that I had no idea even existed in my psyche. I don’t recall one of the professionals listed above suggesting I try meditation or psychotherapy. Maybe it wasn’t their place. Maybe we have to figure this out for ourselves, willing to surrender completely and look at the raw, itchy, wounded, firey self. My recurring anxiety attacks which at that time seemed inexplicable being that I was in a relationship that I thought was with “the one” (no pressure there at 33 years old), as well as becoming a certified yoga teacher in a new “Weekend Warrior” 8 month program at OM Yoga Center (no pressure there pioneering into career). It’s all connected, skin eruptions like eczema, shingles, hives are all linked to stress. Getting to the source of your stress is where the work lies and most of time what ails you is embedded in implicit memory like shards of glass, difficult to see, but painful nonetheless.

Both dermatologists prescribed steroid cream and I was so desperate to get rid of it, I gave it a go against my personal belief in healing the body holistically. The steroid cream didn’t make a difference.  Next I tried Elidel, still a prescription but not a steroid (I think). I didn’t see or feel much of a difference with Elidel either. The skin is our largest organ and by putting toxic chemicals on it I knew I wouldn’t be solving anything, just masking symptoms. I firmly believe when the body is given a fair shot at healing it will.

My gut instinct told me I needed to make a radical change with my eating habits and in doing so without realizing it, I’d be working with my mind (this is the secret Jiu Jitsu). For me, eating super clean was an easier task than discovering where my thoughts came from, sitting with feelings and emotions and asking for professional help. In my mind and opinion back then, I didn’t see a need for professional help as far as psychotherapy was concerned (read scared shitless of what I would discover about myself). In fact, I admired people who went and always wanted to have a therapist because I thought it would validate me in some way, like yup, I’m neurotic but sane like the rest of y’all working through stuff. Many years later in working with a therapist, validation was only one of the gems that helped me see what was going on inside. What I didn’t know back then was in limiting my yoga practice to just wanting to learn the asana and skeptical of the spiritual benefits, I was cheating myself of so much and trying to control the very thing that could help me get better and grow. I had no idea what “let go of the outcome” meant, though I could say it to others and myself, I had no idea how. I was picking and choosing what I wanted from yoga trying to avoid the actual work of self reflection and self study (Svadhyaya).  At that time I didn’t know how to negotiate my feelings concerning a boyfriend that I was in love with who happened to occasionally make fun of me passive aggressively. He would make fun of my curiosity in investigating yoga and Buddhist philosophies. I didn’t have the courage to tell him to love all of me or leave me. Eventually, and thankfully, the leave me did happen. Some people may be able to work the “pick and choose” method from a spiritual practice, but if my plan was to teach yoga how could I leave out the main part? In retrospect, how could I discover me if I was bypassing the teachings of yoga? I had no idea what this journey had in store for me. This I believe was the wet eczema my wounded self.

That relationship I was in, if I was too “spiritual” in his eyes, an example of that being reading books by Chogam Trungpa Rinpoche or Iyengar (both assigned readings for teacher training), he would make fun of me and ask me if I really believed “all that crap”. If I put on 5 pounds, I was told in his version of a joking way that I was getting a belly and he would adjust my pants or skirt to make sure I saw what he was talking about. Meanwhile, it was my boyfriend at age 25 to my 33 who was dieting to lose weight, taking pills so he wouldn’t lose his hair, had just quit smoking, and eventually went back to seeing a therapist because he had been diagnosed with bi-polar 2 disorder in his teens. None of that bothered me. I loved him unconditionally, yet he projected his fears on me and did not love me unconditionally. While in yoga teacher training, I did practice teaching asana and restorative yoga to him and he liked it, but he always asked me to leave out the  “spiritual stuff”. He suffered from severe back pain as well. Go figure. He read Dr. Sarno’s book “Healing Back Pain” and “magically” it worked for him.  This isn’t magic, it’s psychology and mind/body connection.

I am not the angel here nor do I want to make him out to be the bad guy. He wasn’t a bad guy at all, nor was I perfect. We were two people who connected when we did, learned from each other, and parted with torn hearts and always wanting the best for the other. No relationship is perfect, but I learned a lot from that one, mostly that I needed to work on self-confidence and developing my intuition. This would take years and it never ends. We are all a work in progress. No wonder the angry eczema engulfed me. I was far too scared of losing him, “the one” and never stood up for myself.  My skin disease didn’t have a shot at healing as long as I stayed in that cycle of not taking care of my emotional self. I needed to completely accept myself skin “problems” and all, but I had no idea that was a choice. I didn’t know I could “Jiu Jitsu” my mind, turn its perspective in a new direction. I kept wanting the eczema to go away, and live happily ever after with my boyfriend and teach yoga. What I wanted and what was happening were not in sync. In retrospect and understanding what was happening then and what I understand now to be the path to healing, and Karma, I simply didn’t have the key to unlock what was causing so much pain inside.

 On the path to figuring out the eczema from a dietary perspective, going down one avenue, I met with Angelica of Angelica’s Herbs for a consultation. Her diagnosis, and she stuck with her prognosis, was to blame all the drugs I had done as the culprit to my skin eruptions. The problem with her diagnosis was that I really had never done a whole lot of drugs. Sure I had drank alcohol quite a bit in the previous 10 years of my life, but as far as drugs were concerned, I could count on two hands how many times I’d smoked pot or consumed cocaine and I stopped doing both on my 26^th birthday and never looked back. Alcohol is a drug and as we know very damaging to the liver as well as relationships. Angelica put me on a detox diet of no wheat, meat, dairy, alcohol, fried foods, caffeine, and sugar. I’d done this before seasonally for 5 days or so when juice fasting which I started doing in my late 20s only this time according to Angelica’s regime, I could eat whole foods. Angelica wanted me to stick with this plan for 8 weeks and take the herbs she prescribed. I could feel and see changes happening, but my skin condition didn’t clear up. This detox regime also reminded me of what Dr. Andrew Weil suggested in 8 Weeks to Optimal Health – a detox I tried in my 20s but didn’t really take to heart. I wasn’t ready to fully embrace the healing benefits of the elimination diet. I didn’t think I needed to as I didn’t have any “negative” health symptoms.

As of writing this book, I’ve been caffeine free for at least 15 years. This was a choice I made years ago. I don’t like the feeling of caffeine coursing through my veins making me feel speedy and anxious. My hands used to shake terribly and I’d shake my foot or legs around like so many people do – just look around you or look at your self. Not everyone has a speedy reaction to caffeine. I do. Also, I choose to believe there are more quirks and health issues caused by caffeine than there are perks. Attempting the elimination diet method, I spent close to $800 on Angelica and her herbs and in fact my boyfriend even paid for it. He slept next to me while my hands were covered with a charcoal and garlic paste concoction wrapped in gauze. He also didn’t mind going on the “cleanse” diet for a little while. I thought this guy is a keeper sleeping next to ol’ garlic stinky hands meanwhile we never spoke about what was really happening between us and I never looked at how I felt.  In my mind we were going through a “for worse” phase and we weren’t even married, yet I hadn’t the faintest idea of how to look at what I was feeling on the inside – all I could see was blaring painful skin and desperately wanted to get rid of it and have healthy skin.

Since my first explosion of eczema it has been 12 years. The relationship I was in during that time ended 9 years ago. Did the eczema go away just like that? Hell no! Is it permanently gone? Absolutely not! Why? Because nothing is permanent. All that is coming, is going, too. I did find a temporary solution that does alleviate the itching and the red bumps in a bottle of ointment prescribed by an amazing dermatologist at NYU. It’s not holistic, but he does make it himself in the pharmacy. I use the ointment so infrequently that it expires long before I’m even half way through the two ounce jar. Basically I can say I have my eczema’s number. It has never come back the way it was when it first erupted and know occasionally I get hives. I have highly sensitive skin. My skin is my barometer for what’s going on inside me mentally. I’m lucky because I can see it. Some people suffer from ulcers, some hiatal hernias, some high blood pressure, high “bad” cholesterol, heart disease, the list goes on. My stress comes out in a skin condition.

The inner work I have done through meditation, yoga, and psychotherapy has helped in more ways than I can mention including relaxing my relationship to eczema. What this means is to understand that in order for something to change, you have to accept it first. You have to embrace all of you as whole, complete, and beautiful just as you are. Self love and compassion is a potent medicine. Your body is going to change, just as your body will be sick, get old, and die. If you are a human being, then you will experience sickness, get older and die. When I clean up my diet a few times a year do I think there is a direct link to alleviating my suffering? The answer I have found is this; it all depends on my mindset, how gentle I am with my thoughts and my body and accept what I am feeling and what is happening. When I am mindful of thoughts I can make healthy and caring choices not limited to just consumption of food or otherwise, which leads to actions that are healing rather than harmful. This is the key to living a happy, healthy, life or what I like to call a Healthy Spicy Life.

Getting Off The Treadmill & Becoming Bodhisattvas in Today's World

Dr. Miles Neale and Nugget

Getting Off The Treadmill and Becoming Bodhisattvas in Today's World

"In the course of our conversation that Saturday afternoon, not only did I learn about a White Op, an operation and term Miles created, but also his personal mission to implement and be a part of systemic change in society and the world because quite frankly, this planet needs a White Op like yesterday! September is too far away!"

Savini Inspired Risotto Milanese

Savini -  Milan, Italy January 1989

 When I was 20 years old, I had the good fortune of tasting Risotto Milanese for the first time at Savini, a century old restaurant located in the heart of Milan. Living in Milan for three weeks during winter break my Junior year in college, I had been treated to fine dining as much as I had the chance to taste thin crust brick oven pizza with a sunny side up egg cracked on it piping hot just out of the oven. Visiting Milano, that's what Europeans call her, was my first experience traveling abroad. I spent afternoons forging friendships with a handful of students at Bocconi who were friends with a friend of mine who had gone to school there. I loved my new Italian friends, Corrado, Marina and the Fabios stand our in my memory. Our days at Bocconi carried over into cafes, pubs and home cooked dinners well into the night. I spent three weeks in Milano pretty much doing whatever I wanted all expenses paid and lived in a rather poche "residence" apartment/hotel situation. I took a risk going much to the chagrin of my parents, but my desire to experience life and try new things has been my inner compass which I am always grateful for and heed.

During the course of our meal, the chef came out to greet my patron who had brought me to Savini insisting that if I eat in any restaurant in Milan, Savini had was the one. He was buying, so of course I said yes. I have changed the recipe from the chef's dish because he used beef stock and I never have that on hand. I do however make my own chicken stock so that's what I use. I prefer to use homemade anything over store bought, but you my friend, the cook, can do what you like. Also for the vegetarians out there you can use a vegetable stock and it's quite tasty as well. The trick regardless whatever stock you use is to soak the saffron threads for a few hours in the stock before adding the liquid to the rice.

chicken stock warming with saffron threads

 

almost done

Serves two

INGREDIENTS

1 cup Risotto - I use organic if made in the states, if made in Italy just risotto

2 cups of chicken stock (or your stock of choice)

1/2 tsp Saffron threads - I use Morton & Bassett two little vials - it's expensive

1/4 cup white wine

1/2 medium size organic yellow onion diced

11/2 TBS unsalted organic butter

1/4 cup freshly grated parmigiano-reggiano cheese plus extra for plating

Sea salt - my cooking fav Maldon Sea Salt flakes (I believe choice of Chef Wylie Dufresne)

Freshly ground black pepper

top with Italian parsley if you like, but not necessary

COOKING

In a 12 to 14-inch skillet, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the onion and cook until softened and translucent but not browned, 8 to 10 minutes. Meanwhile on low heat warm the saffron-infused stock. Once the onions are translucent add the rice and stir with a wooden spoon until toasted and opaque, 3 to 4 minutes.

Add the wine to the toasting rice, and then add a 4 to 6-ounce ladle of the stock and cook, stirring, until it is absorbed. Continue adding the stock a ladle at a time, waiting until the liquid is absorbed before adding more. Cook until the rice is tender and creamy and yet still a little al dente, about 15 minutes. I add a little salt and pepper along the way, but salt and pepper is not part of the original recipe as the broth and butter used may have already been seasoned, mine aren't. Don't walk away from the stove. Keep your eye on it and keep the temperature on medium to med low. You may not need all of the broth though I always seem to use it all. Stir in the butter and cheese until well mixed. Plate immediately add some extra grated cheese and season to taste.

Risotto Milanese

I've been making this dish for 20 years and it never disappoints me and is great the next day or two as well.

Serve with a side dish of steamed broccoli or my favorite sauteed chiffonade brussel sprouts with pine nuts, sea salt and black pepper.

Most importantly, cook from your heart.
Buon appetito. 

Broken is Delicious

Where I Am Today

Barkley Lake, Argyle, NY

I am not the one if you are looking to have an affair

I am the one if you are looking for love

I am not the one who’s going to tell you what to do

I am the one who will show you

I am not the one who will nag you or mother you

I am the one who wants to see you be a man

I am not the one who can be broken

I am the one who already is

Dating With Options

After taking a two year hiatus from dating, I am putting myself back “out there”. Part of me is thinking what a waste of time dating has always been and the other part says, get over it and just do it. First I’d like to define dating. Dating to me is meeting up with someone (in my case a man) with the intention of getting to know that person and hopeful there’s some kind of spark, chemistry or connection that propels me to want to see him again. I wasn’t really planning on getting into the dating scene, but it seemed all at once there were 3 eligible men swarming around. I live in NYC and yes dating is a scene. Also a friend from childhood who I hadn’t heard from in 4 years now works for a dating service and randomly sent me an email asking if I was single and interested in meeting someone. We are still trying to get together so she can have a better sense of who I am when she meets with her clients. It seems the universe is saying it’s time for me to date. That and my astrologer told me my chart says Venus is in Saturn for me until September so to look out for love. In putting my best yogini foot forward, one needs to invest in a wardrobe and cosmetics especially if one lives in yoga gear with her hair in a bun most days and evenings. Mani/peds are already in my weekly routine. This is not what I like to spend my limited income on, but I have to say I had a good time picking out dresses and shoes and actually getting dressed up to go out on the town. With support from friends near and far, I am up for this challenge and believe me dating is challenging anywhere let alone for a Buddhist yogini living in NYC. What you think you see is not what you get. What I do for a living and how I live my life are philosophies and lifestyle choices, not a hobby.

One of my male friends had this to say, a perspective I hadn’t thought of before:

 “On behalf of the entire male population, I thank you for returning to the dating game =).  You are a truly beautiful and engaging woman with a real spirit and sense of wonder. That is something any man would be lucky to have.  I know it is a process that can be extremely hard on the ego though, so my thoughts are with you!”

Look at that, I even have a referral from an awesome guy if I might add. I hadn’t thought that little ol’ me was depriving men of a decent date. Certainly there are many of us out there, but if we all throw in the towel and say forget it, then great guys like the one above gets screwed, too. Just in case you are wondering if I am dating him, I am not. He lives across the country and is significantly younger than I.  We have a mature friendship and dialogue. Before my friend wrote that, all I could see was the endless line of men who didn’t want the same thing as I did - a mutually understood relationship that could lead to a commitment. I am 43, never been married or engaged, and no children. Seems perfectly normal and sane to me, but unusual to others. The smile I have today started a long time ago.

In 2007 I wrote an interactive blog called “The Rules, Really?” inspired by the book “The Rules” which was a totally new world to me as well as the impetus for the blog. I wanted to see how my behavior matched up with their rules. BTW, both women who authored the book are divorced and the whole premise of playing by “The Rules” is to get a ring which happens to come with a husband. Quite honestly, the whole thing made me sick. Turns out I am a natural rule breaker and subsequently proved their point as to why I wasn’t married. Marriage has never been a goal for me. Happiness has. They left out the part of being a happy person. There are some good pointers in the book that make sense like dating more than one person at a time, be busy, mysterious, never too available and make them chase after you because men like to hunt. Sounds like women are prey, well sometimes it seems that way. I recently reread that blog and had a blast going down memory lane. Dating and writing about it, now that’s a lot of work. Especially when you aren’t getting paid for either. Time is very valuable. 

 When I date, I am dating. Not just one or two men, but three if I can swing it. The more the merrier. I don’t sleep with any of them right away if ever. I find that they quickly drop off because they confuse dating and getting to know someone with a fuck buddy. I’ve experience many different types of relationships. Twenty years of yoga and meditation have brought clarity to me that an intimate connection with someone else can only come from being intimate with oneself. If it doesn’t feel right to me to have more than one lover than don’t do it. If it does, then do it.

I like to think of having a team of men in a dug out and watching them come up to bat. It’s the ones who actually aren’t in it for the “home run”, but just want to get on base and play that you’ll actually have a chance to get to know. If you get the home run straight away then neither of you will have anything to look forward to. This doesn’t mean that because you wait to have sex that the relationship will work out. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. But what probably will happen is that you’ve had a chance to open to desire, be in a space to get to know someone and see if this person is a good choice for you or not. Afterall we are all a work in progress and the more work the more progress. There’s tons of advice out there on what to do and what not to do and how long to wait and yada- yada-yada. For women over 40, we have a different game and reality than the younger single women out there. I am happy to be right where I am. The choices I make now are very different than when I was in my 20s and 30s. I do my best to be clear with intentions and remember to be open to experiences. This is how change happens and you might just find yourself in a relationship that feels right.

Stories From India

 You are Here. Mumbai ~ India Part One 

 You Are Who You Are, Wherever You Are ~ India Part Two

 

Elephant Blessings From Lakshmi ~ India Part 3

Elephant Blessings From Lakshmi ~ India Part 3

Krishna Floats photo by Fatima DaCosta

The first domestic flight out of Mumbai south to Mangalore was pretty much just like any other flight, but the two-hour mini-van ride from the airport to our accommodations was far from ordinary. We were quickly acclimatized to the ways of Indian driving and you can safely assume the driver is a man. From the Mangalore airport we traveled for over 2 hours to Udupi in our fleet of 4 mini-vans: 2 for people and 2 for luggage. Watching these men go to work loading all of our stuff suddenly made me wish I had brought half of what I packed.

Why drivers are compelled to play chicken with all oncoming objects, mostly trucks with men and equipment spilling off them, while talking on their cell phones NOT hands free, I’ll never know. If the driver started texting - then I was ready to intervene. My guess is this is how they learn to drive and are encouraged to honk non-stop.

I do remember reading in Shantaram that if a driver kills someone they need to run for their lives because the driver will be mobbed and killed on the scene. This was confirmed by one of the drivers I spoke with who could speak English. Very interesting…tradition? So maybe Indian drivers are actually safer to drive with because they don’t want to be mobbed and killed unless they A) Can run really fast or, B) They have some secret code as to who wins the game of chicken.

Honk, honk, swerve, whoaaaaa close one, honk, swerve, shrieking. 

In no time, Captain Raghu had all us yogis throwing our hands in the air shouting, “Jai Ma!” at every close call, which was pretty much every 5 minutes … and this little piggy cried Jai Ma! Jai Ma! Jai Ma! all the way to Udupi.

I have no idea how the others fared in their van, if they were lucky enough to have a mantra crying victory to the Divine Mother. Sure worked for us. I did not share with the others that one of my closest friends who has been on pilgrimages for the past 4 years was in a very serious bus accident last year. Very serious, as in front windshield completely shattered, most of the passengers had glass in their hair and everyone was banged up somewhere. The miracle was that everyone survived the head on collision of two busses. The road was closed for two days to remove all of the debris and busses were totaled. Her crew made it to temple for abhisheka which involved pouring 9 buckets of water over their heads. There’s so much that could go wrong in that scenario with all the open cuts and shards of glass running down the body.

This is India.  Really funny video and great music.

Close your holes and let the water cleanse you, no matter how bacterial infested it possibly could be. If you go on a pilgrimage this is what you do. Be a part of the culture. Why go otherwise?

 After this first long ride, the rest of our mini-van experiences were similar though I decided not to look at the road ahead and just relax. What will be will be. With some silent Jai Mas thrown in for good measure, this was a much better way to travel and just be in India.

We settled into the hotel all intact minus one large piece of luggage. A new rule was set into place. Watch your bag go on the van, watch your bag come off the van. I was fully confident the bag would make its way to us so there was nothing to fret about. Though it wasn’t my bag that was lost, I did reflect on what would I do if I were in that situation? I would do exactly what I did. Eat my lunch and wait to see what happens. No point in spending your time worrying about something that is out of your hands. Besides worrying is just wishing for what you don’t want to happen. How is that ever a good idea? Within a few hours the misplaced luggage came back.

Post lunch, I was ready for a nap. Our arrival in Udupi was officially our third day in India. I’m not counting arriving at the airport at 11:00 p.m. as a day in India. We were on the go to say the least. My body had no idea what day it was or what time. Of the 3 nights that had passed, I had slept a total of maybe 10 hours. Being prone in nap position doesn’t necessarily facilitate a nap. The fancy noise reduction headphones I bought at JFK on the flight out worked great only they didn’t lull me to sleep. So I meditated and practiced savasana in bed.

What? Savasana is a practice. It just may be the most difficult asana (posture) of the asana practice. Quoting T.K.V. Desikachar on savasana, "It is attention without tension, loosening-up without slackness.” I’ll take three please.

We were told the hotel was good by Udupi standards, and it would due for the night. My roomie and I noted some blood spots on the wall. We decided that it was from dead mosquitoes and left it at that. Not so gentle reminder to take my daily Malarone pill.

 Evening festivities in the sacred village of Udupi were pretty rockin’. It was at this festival that the runny nostrils of Lakshmi found its way to my fingers as she gently took a coin. The wetness of an elephant’s trunk isn’t all that different than the runny mucus dripping from your very own nose only so much more. After taking the coin, she then lifted her trunk to bless me by attempting to tap her trunk on my head while I bowed. I kind of confused the order of the ceremony and backed away too soon and then bowed so I stuck my head back in and she tapped it. My clumsiness didn’t throw her off at all, however the photo is a bit blurry. Trust me, there is an elephant’s trunk somewhere near my head in the photo.

Raghu and Kaustubha Das, one of our other teachers on the tour, explained that this festival happens every night in Udupi. Could you imagine EVERY NIGHT the same celebration for eternity? One of the temple’s where we took darshan (viewing of a deity) was built by Saint Madhvacharya in the 12th century. This saint was an important philosopher during the Bhakti movement.

After his return from Badri, Madhvācārya stayed in Uḍupi for some time and wrote his bhāṣyas or authoritative commentaries on the ten Upaniṣads. He composed glosses on forty hymns of the Rig Veda and wrote a treaties Bhāgavata-tātparya highlighting the essential teachings of the purāṇas. Apart from these, he authored several topical handbooks and on devotional song.

It was during this time that he installed the deity of Kṛṣṇa which he found in the western ocean near the Uḍupi sea-coast. After sometime, after appointing disciples to take care of worshiping the deity of Kṛṣṇa that he had installed, he undertook his second tour to Badri.  ~ Wikepedia

Inside the temple was breathtaking. We weren’t allowed to take photos, though I wanted to photograph the latticed dark wood wall with hundreds of unlit votive candles seemingly floating ready to receive wishes and prayers. After darshan, I received blessed water in my hands, which the Indians drink, but foreigners pretend to drink by passing the water in front of their face then over their heads.

Three hundred men and women joined in to pull the Krishna fort barefoot. Yes, you have to take your footwear off to pull the deity fort. India culture is big into bare feet, indoors and out. What exactly is a Krishna fort? There probably is an official name for it, but my best description is that it was akin to a float like in a parade but really high up like a tree fort or an air balloon being guided along. Only this fort needed to be pulled at a brisk pace by the power of 300 people or Lakshmi solo. This was her true purpose.

Post festival we gathered for dinner and enjoyed delicious southern Indian cuisine. The next day was a half day in Udupi, two hour van ride to the train station, then we traveled to Varkala, in the very southern part of Kerala on the Adriatic Sea via a 14 hour overnight train ride. Woot- woot!!!

You Are Who You Are, Wherever You Are Next Stop Udupi, India Part 2

We were presented the option to visit Elephanta Caves (Elephant Island), ruins from the 7th Century. Pretty much everyone was on board with going and we set out after an early morning breakfast. Crossing the streets by foot in Mumbai is no different from playing a human game of Frogger. Remembering to look both ways is key because cars are coming from the opposite direction than we're used to and from every direction possible. There are no friendly reminders on the sidewalks like in London noting which way to look before crossing. Best be on high alert when out and about or you will find yourself splat out, game over.

Shiva

If Cliff made notes on his notes, here's what he would have written on the Elephanta Caves,"Shortly before the Elephanta temples were created, Bombay had experienced the golden age of the late Guptas, under whom the arts flourished. Sanskrit had been finely polished, and Kalidasa and other writers had helped incite a Hindu religious revival under the court's liberal patronage. Shaivism, the worship of Shiva, inspired the building of these temples." This was lifted from the link above if you want to read more, you know where to go.

Cave Dancing

An hour long ferry ride drops you off on a jetty which one traverses to reach the main island. If I fail to mention the kirtan led by Gaura Vani Aks during the ferry shuttles, I would be cheating the whole experience of visiting the caves. Kirtan (devotional singing) opens your heart and your mind as well as connects you to the people who are singing with you. What better way to prepare for stepping foot on preserved ancient land which also looked like it could be a great location to shoot the next Indiana Jones movie. Sita Ram, Sita Raaaamm, Lakshman Hanuman, Lakshman Hanuman.

Every day is a day with possibilities wherever you are. On ancient land in India or in your home. How open you are to possibilities is up to you. Your projector or lens through which you experience life makes all the difference. You can be anywhere and have a great day or a crappy day. Something new and exciting can be perceived as new and exciting just as it can be seen as new and scary. Something familiar can be viewed as comfortable and calming or old hat and boring. This is your mind and how you see the world. Is the world coming at you or are you going into the world? Do you find yourself saying, "Well he did that to me, and that's why I am miserable" or "If none of these doctor's can fix it then who can"? How does one take "The world is coming at me" view to "I can make a difference in this world" point of view?

The only place to start is with yourself. Change can only happen if you take action. We've all heard about journeys and paths. This is the road to making lasting changes in your life. On this proverbial road you will find love, compassion, joy, discipline, truth, ethics and hard work. Choosing your path is part of the journey and part of the homework to self discovery and healing. You will still be you. You can't escape you, but how you see the world, how your mind works, will change. Possible new questions will be, "How can I help you?" or "What do you need?" instead of "I am hungry. I am hot. I am thirsty." Because you've already worked on self, you know you have all that you need, you come from a place of abundance rather than deprivation. You can let go of poverty mentality and be of service to others. This is the shift.

The intention of a pilgrimage (yatra) is to visit holy and sacred places associated with Hindu epics like The Mahabarata or Ramayana. I chose this yatra lead by Raghunath Cappo because I felt connected to him and his teachings. I wanted to experience India through his experiences, teachers and offerings. This is how teachings are passed on. As we were promised pre-voyage, on our first day, copies of The Mahabarata (about a 3 lb hard cover book) were purchased for 500 rupes ($9) and distributed. We were assigned readings throughout the yatra. Honestly it was hard to keep up with the readings with all the travel, connecting with the other yogis, getting some sleep, and in general having an awesome, stimulating time. Thankfully Raghu is a master story teller.

Finally after 10 years of wanting to see India, how I would experience the Motherland for the first time became clear. I had to plan nearly a year in advance to make it happen. Incredibly, within the week that I decided to go on the pilgrimage, my amazing client said she wanted to donate flyer miles to me for when I decide to go to India. I had never mentioned before wanting to go or India for that matter. She intuitively knew. When you are clear with your intentions, and your intentions are grounded in basic goodness, the seas start to part.

Radha-Kunda Das photo courtesy of Micheal Dehni

We had three nights and two days in Mumbai then off we were to the next destination Udupi in the state of Karnataka. There is something really nice about letting others take charge of the itinerary. I never knew what time the flights were, or the train, or when things were scheduled. What time I needed to be when and where were instructed by Radha-Kunda Das (the "a" at the end of Kunda is silent) the man in charge of all travel, reservations, meals, bookings, etc. Radha-Kunda just may be the most amazing man in robes I will ever meet. More to come on that.

A huge glowing red sunrise greeted us at the airport. 
Had I not been going through security check and keeping track of my ticket, passport and carryon, I would have taken a photo of the best sunrise of the trip and perhaps that I have seen thus far in my life. I took the opportunity to meditate for a half hour while waiting to depart. You are who you are wherever you are.

You Are Here. Mumbai, India Part 1

Radhe Radhe !!!                     photo credit: Michael Denhi

Sensation overload is to be expected upon arriving in an Indian airport. For some reason I thought I would step out of the plane and be assaulted by smells and sights foreign to my current catalog of sense memories. This did not happen. Perhaps because deplaning is pretty much the same everywhere, we prod along single file, some sort of hand bag or luggage over shoulder and sometimes pulling a wheeled bag, I found myself following the familiar sounds of other wheeley bags hypnotically guiding us through customs, then the luggage carousels and out through the no-return exit doors. So far, same as any other foreign country arrival. Hearing Raghu's voice call my name snapped me into reality. I am in Mumbai, Jai Ma! Raghunath Cappo, an incredible human being who happens to be a yoga teacher, organized this pilgrimage (yatra). About 30 of us signed up for this journey. Apparently my flight arrived early. A crew of about 20 had already gathered from other flights that had come in and they were waiting for a few more. It always seems like magic greeting someone at the airport as they walk through the guarded exit doors, forbidden to re-enter, there they are, a newly birthed person from the flight of a lifetime. Any flight, every time. It seemed Raghu had greeted me just as that, a miracle to have made it, as every life is a miracle, and here in the Motherland of India, I was blessed to have arrived. My luggage was in tact and with me. I was in tact and with me, too.

the first of many hairsplitting rides

After most of us arrived, we took cabs in groups of four to Hotel Shalimar. I don't remember the other passengers squished in next to me other than Raghu who sat in the front, bubbling with stories and enthusiasm. Most of the flights arrived between 11:00 PM and 2:00 AM. By the time I settled in at the hotel, paired with a roommate and made it horizontal it was 2:00 AM and we had a 5:30 AM call time for yoga if we wanted to attend. Let the 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night for two weeks begin!

 Raghu set us up in a nice hotel by anyone's standards let alone a New Yorker who is used to certain comforts of home like, let's say, toilet paper. We take having rolls of TP in the cabinet for granted and spend a fortune on it to boot. One double roll of Charmin pack of four would cost 225 Rupees. This is expensive and luxurious. Just so we can get on the same page with the Rupee vs. the US dollar, a 15 minute cab ride in Mumbai, a major city, is 50 to 70  Rupees which in NYC would be about 600 Rupee.  I need to reevaluate my toilet paper consumption. The Mumbai hotel was the only place we stayed where toilet paper was supplied upon arrival. I had been warned to bring TP and Kleenex packets so I was prepared for the less cushy hotel situation. Bidets seemed to replace TP in most bathrooms, public or private.

Raghu and Lauren

Our first full day, and boy was it a full day, after yoga and breakfast, we headed to Radhanath Swami's ashram which I still can't tell you the name of but I could show you how to walk there from the hotel. We were greeted warmly and joined the hundreds of people already seated, plucking flower petals for the ceremony that evening. We sat for satsang with Radhanath Swami and sang kirtan while we separated soft petals from the hard buds (they hurt when they are thrown at you which turns out to be part of the celebration - it's all fun and games 'til someone loses an eye or in Lauren's case develops an allergic reaction to all the flowers. She handled it quite well.) Flower plucking to lunch, and then Fabindia for some fab celebratory clothes. I'm not going to lie here, I was very excited to shop on the first day of this 2 week spiritual journey. Once again, Raghu is a smart man. He knows his audience. Sensory overload had finally arrived. Millions of flowers over head, under foot, and on the walls, incense everywhere, cars honking (I'll put money on it's India's national past time - it's written on the back of most trucks and cars "Blow Horn"). Good God, we fine you here for that kind on nonsense. I have totally new respect for Indian cab drivers in NYC. I now know where they're coming from - a game of chicken with everything else that's on the road; cows, carts, pigs, dogs, monkeys, elephants (yes, I saw 2 cruising along), people big and small, rickshaws, motorcycles, bicycles, cabs, cars, trucks, minivans ... did I forget anything?

Kaustuba - such a sport

We kind of went bananas at Fabindia. What's a kurta? 3/4 sleeve or full? And the Ali-baba pants vs. the salwar vs. churidars (weird looking leggings that go to your waist and can accommodate a full bladder and labonza.) And all the different scarf names and sizes! Dupattas, shawls, and stoles, oh my! Come to find out, Fabindia is holding out on chudders. A whole new drapey-wrap-wear I'll discover later on down the road. After testing the patience of our incredible guides and teachers, a Kaustuba and Gitapriya for over an hour with our fashion questions, we went back to the hotel, barely had time to shower, change and head back over to the ashram. All Fabindiasized, we were ready to celebrate.




I had never been showered by hundreds of flower petals let alone 2 tons of them until January 28, 2012. This particular celebration was started about 15 years ago by Radhanath Swami to celebrate Krishna. There are lots of Krishna celebrations. I don't know the exact name of this one, so I'm going with Flowers for Hours for Krishna. No doubt, in less than 24 hours after stepping foot in India, I was experiences new sights, sounds, scents and all the things that I dreamed would happen in the country recently marketed as "Incredible India". Totally get it! Incredible indeed and this was just the beginning.

after this posted, this link was sent to me. insane flower fight!
http://www.radhanathswamivideo.com/music/pushya-abhishek-dancing-kirtan-radhanath-swami

Here I Go Again

Spiritual Whitesnake   

Breaking up sucks, but walkovers and Whitesnake can help ease the pain.

10 Articles I Want To Write Before I Die

Notes from post-its, notebooks and scrap paper.

1) I Won’t Eat That Stuff, But I’ll Feed It To My Kids

Exhibit A: Fluffernutter sandwich on Wonder Bread with the crusts cut off. One of my friends said, “I won’t eat it, but the kids like it.” She also said that if she didn’t give it to her kids, other moms would. I have much to say about this, but perhaps until I have children of my own, I shouldn’t be on my high horse.
Please do not defend this “food” with a cry that at least it’s vegan.
Why Your Children Will be Sicker Than You

2) Are We Too Domesticated?

… Little Boxes On The Hillside …


3) Why I Like Younger Men   (Alternate Title: Does Age Really Matter? A Proud Cougar)

One doesn’t have to get too deep about this, but I have thought about it. I can pretty much say I have dated younger men since my mid 20s, I am now 42. The age gap is widening, I am still dating men in their 20s and loving it! My girlfriends in their 20s say they wouldn’t date the men I do because they are artists (read unstable). Great! Less competition.

4) AA Got You Sober, But Now You’re Hooked On Caffeine, Cigarettes, Adderall, Ambien, Red Bull and You’re Still A Mess … I Know, I Know … You Can’t Mediate So I Won’t Ask You To Try.     (Alternative Title: Does Sobriety = Clarity?)

I can spot the speedy, unsettled mind “sober” people from a mile away. Or when they feel compelled to strike up conversations with me by asking if I am a friend of Bill’s while I am meditating riding a subway car. No, I am not a friend of Bill’s, or at least THAT Bill. Perhaps my year and half involvement with a “sober” person opened my eyes and heart to many things.


5) How It Really Works – Living a Conscious Life or Living a Compulsive Life        Co-written with Dr. Miles Neale
I love listening to Miles Neale live or on podcasts. What I have learned from him is that it really comes down to karma and how you choose to live your life. Miles asked me write about this topic with him and this is what I have  thus far …
Have a look at the chart and then ask yourself, “Self … which cycle do I want to live in?” These are the choices according to The Buddha and the yogi texts of Patanjali.
I am going to put it in layman’s terms.
Behind door #1, the Compulsive Life of Samsara, which so happens to be surrounded by stacks of money, a fancy sports car, some Barbie Doll looking chicks, a shopping spree at Barneys, we’ll even throw in a case of Red Bull and Chopin vodka, if that’s the vodka en Vogue these days. What if you could dine at Mario Batali’s Babbo every day for free or eat pizza, cookies and have soda for breakfast lunch and dinner with no side effects? OK, we’d meditate longer if we could have Babbo for free every day. Just kidding, sort of.

6) How Is It When A Butterfly Flaps Its Wings In China It Is Felt Around The World? Impossible!

Answer? Bueller, Bueller, anyone?


7) Sitting In A Hot Shrine Tent Is Good For You (Alternate Title: Why Would Someone Spend $1,700 To Sit In A Hot Shrine Tent In Silence For Four Days As A Vacation?)

This is the lovely shrine tent at the Shambhala Mountain Center in CO.
June 30 – July 5 you will find me sitting on one of these cushions.
I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything.
Sad Joy sitting with three archaryas.

8 ) Darn It! I Missed Barneys New York Friends and Family Day – Get Purple Points, So I Can Shop More! How Could This Happen To Me?!?

I like to reference Barneys NY and I would be an absolute hypocrite if I said I didn’t like Barneys. But when is enough, enough? Give up constantly going for more.
The Yamas can help you with this I want more, craving thing.
All I Want For Christmas is Samadhi


9) Less IS More




10) Guilt VS Remorse
Guilt says I am bad. Remorse says I am sorry.



And if I had all the time in the world, not really article worthy, just baffling …
11) How Is It That You Passed Your Driver’s Test And Are Allowed To Drive?

Adrien Brody Was My Valentine

reminders on how to cope with 

the big-red-heart-shaped-box-full-of-chocolates day 

and any day

Soften your heart to what is ... 

My best friend of 20 years shares her birthday with that of Saint Valentine. Her birthday had always been a point of contention. Friends would have plans with their Valentines and sometimes men wouldn’t want to take her out for her birthday because it was Valentine’s Day. Before writing this, I asked her how she feels about her birthday now. Her response was, “Neutral - it is my birthday and I am full of love.” This was really nice to hear. In finding the middle path or what I sometimes like to call the Baby Bear in the Three Little Bears – not too soft, not too hard, just right – she was able to let go of the anxiety over her birthday. 

Admittedly, I am a bit freakish over remembering dates and occasions. Not in a Marilu Henner kind of way with superior autobiographical memory, but above average. Of course there’s my story, your story, and then what really happened, but for this tale, we are going with my story since I am doing the writing. 

Valentine’s Day can be yet another dreaded calendar holiday or not. Pressure to buy a token of admiration for someone can be daunting. What if I’m dating someone that I don’t feel “that way” about, do I get him a gift? What if he gets me something? How you want to deal with Valentine’s Day is all perspective just like any other holiday that the masses celebrate. I used to poo-poo Valentine’s Day as a Hallmark holiday, but it turns out that Esther Howland created the first commercial Valentine’s Day cards in 1840. Huh, so it wasn’t Hallmark after all. Maybe I could soften my perspective and be neutral to February 14^th like my BFF had become. 

 Show gratitude and give hugs, smiles 

or those little candy hearts …

 In 1994 I actually had a Valentine and I remember for a few of reasons:

1) Because Adrien Brody was my Valentine.

2) BFF was visiting Los Angeles where I lived at the time. She had a layover while travelling from Australia to NYC.

3) I moved to LA in Nov ’93 and met Adrien within weeks of settling in. He was my roommate’s friend and always crashed at our house. Some girls have all the luck and sometimes they do literally just knock on your door.

Adrien arrived at my house with a bottle of Pinot Noir and a Valentine’s Day card (he commented when he handed the wine to me that he knew I liked Pinot Noir and he was right). How thoughtful. I gave him a star shaped candle embedded with secret little charms. There was no pressure or awkwardness. Just good old fashioned fun Valentine swapping.

One doesn’t need to present a gift on Valentine’s Day or dread the day. February 14^th was chosen as a day to show your love to special people in your life. I am hopeful that all who read this have at least one special person in their life, and if not make that special person yourself. You can smile randomly to people you pass, and do your best to hug someone, too. Bear hugs are great!

 Be cool even when others push your buttons ...

 We were off to a very good Valentine’s Day celebration. A mutual friend of BFF and mine wanted to take us ladies out and his friend for dinner to celebrate the birthday. Seeing as I had a date, Adrien, I informed the friend that I already had plans and the friend said to bring along whomever I wanted. I invited both Adrien and my roommate because we had all spent the day together, and were having a good time. Six of us met up for what intended to be a festive dinner. I’d rather not relive the gory details of the evening, but let’s just say there was drama and lots of it. The mutual friend had a mean streak of jealousy, got drunk, acted out, and left in a huff. It’s probably a good thing because my Valentine and roommate wanted to set him straight, but they took the high road instead by letting him leave with out further incident.

Special days can evoke drama as we all know, especially when there are red roses and red, heart shaped, boxes filled with chocolates involved. Recognizing all that you have albeit love from a partner, friend or family, is still LOVE. I think my BFF discovered some peace of mind when she surrendered to what is … her birthday is on the same day as St. Valentine. This is something she cannot change so there’s no point in fretting and wishing it to be otherwise. You can relate this philosophy to so many other “problems” we create for ourselves. If you really have a look at your “problem” chances are you are the one who gave yourself the “problem” to begin with. If you slow down enough to see this for yourself (via mind body practices) or slow down enough so that hopefully a really great friend (who does mind body practices) can help you see that you pretty much are the solution to your problems, then your will world shift.

        If nothing else live for love …

Pardon me, but my yogini is showing. Connect with the love and light in you that is just pleading to be let loose. Like dancing when no one is watching or singing at the top of your lungs out of key and all. You feel good. You laugh and shine. Suddenly you are a Valentine.

In December I read Jesus, I Love Jews By Angela Raines. I really liked her article and for those of you who read it you may recall that Mr. Brody was listed as the “Bad News Jew” for not being associated with any known eco causes and for having owned a hummer. I wish I could shed some insider light on this, but it was many, many, oh so many year ago that we frolicked. When I knew him, he drove a brown classic Caddie. Maybe not so good with gas, but does that count as vintage and recycling? I know I am grasping at straws and Raines really wanted to give him props, but couldn’t find the support. Adrien was very young when we were hanging out and reflecting on my own journey into having some sort of relationship with the universe, I think I had only one yoga mat at the time and it stayed in my closet mostly. I certainly have grown leaps and bounds in the past 17 years chances are he has, too. Let’s keep our eyes peeled to see if Adrien gets some green/eco causes on his bamboo plate. He is a good egg. 

         Take it to heart … metta meditation practice

         Metta also known as maitri, translates to “loving kindness”.  Why not try a 10 minute heart opening practice for Valentine’s Day?

 Here’s how: 

1)  Carve out 10 minutes of your day where you can sit and be still. You may sit on a chair with your feet flat on the floor, spine upright or sit on cushions on the floor if you are able to support your spine and its natural curves. The photo at the top of the red heart is my meditation cushion. You may want to record these instructions to listen to as you are settling into your “seat”.

2)  I suggest the app Zen Timer. It has numerous gong sounds, settling in time, journal option, and if you like intermittent gongs during your sit you can program that option.

3)  Once sitting, start your timer and use the delay bell setting. Rest the hands on the thighs. Mentally scan your body and feel its presence. Where your legs are. How your seat feels. Shoulders relaxed. Skin on the forehead without expression. Space between the top jaw and bottom jaw. You are coming into the present moment.

4)  Any time during your sit, if it feels natural, you may bring a hand to your heart. We feel emotions in our solar plexus where the heart beats, and also in our belly, or gut instinct. They reside very close to each other in our bodies.

5)  I use these four thoughts for metta medition:

May I be happy   

May I be healthy

May I be safe

May I live with ease 

Focus the mind on the first thought, “May I be happy” for a couple of minutes. Then let that thought go and focus on the second thought, etc. The time will go way faster that you ever imagined. If you can set aside more than 10 minutes, the next step is after you have wished loving kindness for yourself, choose a loved one to wish metta thoughts to. Eg: May you (fill in the name) be happy, may you be healthy, etc.

Thoughts other than what you are focusing on will arise. When this happens, and it will, as you notice the thought label it thinking and let it go. Gently take your mind back to the phrase you were focusing on. Please be light with the mind voice and kind to your self. Flogging is not part of the practice.

6)  When the gong chimes, you may like to acknowledge your practice by bringing the hands together at the heart and bowing.

7)  That’s it!

If you are interesting in learning more about meditation, I suggest finding a teacher or a mentor. The Interdependence Project based in NYC, has chapters throughout the country and pod casts accessible to all! 

Namaste.